


Race to the Bottom

by robocryptid



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Arguing, Bottom Hanzo Shimada, Bottom Jesse McCree, Humor, Idiots in Love, M/M, Making Out, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:41:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22699585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robocryptid/pseuds/robocryptid
Summary: Sometimes a relationship requires compromise.
Relationships: Jesse McCree/Hanzo Shimada
Comments: 18
Kudos: 318





	Race to the Bottom

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Since I am sometimes asked: you have my blanket permission to podfic, translate or remix my stuff, make fan art, make fanmixes, etc. -- basically anything that qualifies as transformative works! You don't have to ask me. The only thing I do ask is that you share it with me, because I wanna see/hear/read it! 
> 
> What you do not have permission to do is wholesale copy and repost my fic to a different platform, such as a third-party app that profits from free fan labor. If you are reading this on an app like that, I assure you AO3's website on mobile is perfectly robust, allows downloads of fics for offline reading, has a [dark mode skin](https://archiveofourown.org/skins/929), and isn't trying to scam you by offering premium services that change nothing.#
> 
> \--
> 
> Written for the prompt, "Hanzo and McCree arguing over who gets to bottom." 
> 
> Also inspired by the question that has plagued me for like two years now: Why is it that usually when there's a negotiation between two men in a fic over who's gonna put what where, it's assumed they're both tops?

#

Jesse sighed and leaned forward, lips molding sweetly to Hanzo’s. It was soft, every movement of their mouths relaxed and familiar. Predictable, but in the right way; it meant they had enough practice at this by now. Jesse knew how to wind Hanzo up to get what he wanted, too. It was easy to coax and caress, tongue teasing until Hanzo grew impatient and pushed him hard against the back of the couch. Jesse’s pulse leaped as Hanzo took over, calloused hands digging into Jesse’s sides, shoving his shirt up to paw at hot skin. 

His knees settled to either side of Jesse’s lap, thighs spread wide and half hard cock pushing at the front of his jeans. It dragged against Jesse’s stomach, and he worried he might start drooling soon. He raised his arms at Hanzo’s prompting, letting him peel Jesse out of his shirt. As soon as his hands were free to roam again, he smoothed his palms up Hanzo’s thighs, all hard muscle under his hands. 

It was all very sweet until Jesse’s neck decided to protest the angle, so he pushed until Hanzo got the hint and let Jesse guide him onto his back. Jesse followed, practically unable to tear his mouth away, and unable to fight the quiet laugh that came to him as he climbed on top and astride Hanzo. He ignored the faint line between Hanzo’s brows and did his best to kiss him until he couldn’t think any more. 

Hanzo got on board with the idea after a moment, hooking a hand behind Jesse’s neck to hold him in place and only breaking once he decided it was his turn to get shirtless. He squirmed until Jesse figured out he should be helping, which led to a breathless moment in which Jesse simply admired the sight of Hanzo’s bare chest. Hanzo’s squirming turned into Hanzo rolling them both to land on top of him, a feat which was only more impressive for the narrow space in which he did it. 

Hanzo straddled him, his hands quick and determined as they started in on Jesse’s belt, and the only thing that kept Jesse from trying to thrust up into the teasing brush of his hands was Hanzo’s weight awkwardly pinning his thighs down. There was something sort of flattering about the way Hanzo’s eyes went wide like he was surprised when he got Jesse’s fly undone, like he hadn’t seen Jesse’s dick a hundred times before. Like he was just as excited now as he had been the first time.

Hanzo’s hand closed around his cock, and Jesse’s hips did move then, an involuntary shudder following the arc of electricity down his spine. Hanzo grinned like he had won something, then he leaned back down to kiss Jesse again. The kissing and the hand on his cock were nice and all, and Hanzo’s skin and muscle felt good under his fingertips, but Hanzo seemed unsatisfied by Jesse’s light touch. He guided Jesse’s touch farther down toward his ass. Jesse’s fingers squeezed reflexively, and then his brain caught up.

He pulled back from their kiss with a laugh, but since Hanzo took this as an invitation to latch his mouth onto Jesse’s neck, it was difficult to speak for a moment. Once he wrangled enough brain cells, he said, “You’re tryin’ to cheat.”

Hanzo immediately sat up, and his hand stopped moving, and all around it was a lot less pleasant than it had been mere moments before. Jesse had to give him credit where it was due, though: Hanzo almost pulled off the genuinely confused look. “I assure you I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

That was all Jesse needed to hear to know he was right. He gave Hanzo a good swat on the ass. “It’s not your turn.”

“Yes, it is.” Hanzo bristled and drew back, and he sounded testy. It was not the best way to cut short a sexual encounter, but at least it gave Jesse room to push up onto his elbows.

“Uh, no. Last time we made love—”

“Please don’t call it that,” Hanzo said, all hushed like there was anyone else around to hear them.

“Last time we _made love,”_ Jesse said a little louder, “you got railed within an inch of your life. It’s my turn.”

“No. Last time, you lay there while I took care of you and we both pretended you weren’t crying.”

Jesse was the one who grew suddenly hushed this time. “It was _really good._ You can’t shame a man for that.”

“It wasn’t shaming, merely providing a detail to jog your memory.”

“It was kinda shamey, baby. And that was the time before last.”

Hanzo sputtered in a particularly undignified way, then he said, “Well, it hardly matters, because I’d have to do most of the work either way,” which was Hanzo’s way of acknowledging that Jesse was one hundred percent right about this one. Then Hanzo got this sly look on his face that, despite the current atmosphere, made Jesse’s libido perk up and take interest again. The effect was only heightened when Hanzo’s fingers splayed across Jesse’s chest, carding through the hair there. “Are you sure I can’t convince you to do it my way?” Then his mouth twitched, wry and a little mean. “I’ll even let you just lie there again.”

“Oh my God, why are you like this?” Jesse batted his hands away, then wriggled until Hanzo got the hint and let him sit all the way up. He made sure Hanzo was watching while he stubbornly zipped his pants back up. “We had a deal.”

“Jesse, I respect your desire for fairness, but expecting us to maintain a perfect fifty-fifty balance is” — Hanzo met his eye with a very solemn look — “fucking stupid.”

Jesse felt his jaw tighten. “Sounds like motivated reasoning if I ever heard it.”

“As if you are not _motivated_ because you think it’s your turn.”

 _“I_ happen to have a strong sense of justice.”

“And a huge cock that is going to waste every time you—”

“Flattery’s nice and all, but we both know the truth.”

Hanzo glared at him. “Fine. A _perfectly average_ cock that is nonetheless much too nice to be wasted _not_ fucking me.”

“It’s not wasted! I use it! Fifty percent of the time!” He thought he might sound halfway to hysterical, and maybe he was, because this conversation felt like such a patent waste of energy when he could be getting laid, and only more annoying because it was, in fact, his fucking turn. Hanzo’s jaw clenched, and his mouth clamped shut. Jesse thought it might be because he was actually angry now, but then his lips twitched and he made this quiet grunt trying to choke down a laugh, and Jesse realized maybe they were both being sort of stupid. It was hard to maintain his own scowl in the face of it. The tension suddenly bled from his body, and he took a long, deep breath, doing his best to recover from the urge to laugh. “Okay. Let’s say I agree that maybe I can be flexible about it, because maybe you’re right that keepin’ score is too much. Will you admit that it’s definitely my turn this time?”

Hanzo laughed quietly, but his eyes and smile were still sharp. “I get to just lie there. You can do all the work, cowboy.”

“Deal,” Jesse said, probably faster than was dignified. Not that his dignity was anywhere to be found just now anyway.

Hanzo looked like he was thinking it over very seriously. It was both too intense and sort of nice, actually, that he gave that much consideration to what Jesse wanted even after a minor spat. Then the look turned to something else entirely as his gaze swept over Jesse’s naked torso. “Deal. Now take off your pants.”

The argument might have put a damper on things, but that look combined with the growling command got Jesse well on his way back to turned the hell on. His fingers weren’t coordinated enough to get his jeans undone quickly, but that didn’t matter much. Hanzo was already on his feet, halfway across the room to dig through their bedside drawer. 

Something cold ran down Jesse’s spine when Hanzo’s back and shoulders stiffened. The instinct was confirmed a moment later when Hanzo said, “We are out of condoms.” He tossed the empty box on the floor. 

Jesse stared at the ceiling as if it had personally betrayed him. Then the moment passed, and he shrugged. “We’ve been together a while, and I’m—”

“We are also out of lube.” As if Jesse needed evidence, Hanzo squeezed the container, and it made a very unsexy squelch but emitted no lubricant. Then it joined the empty box on the floor. 

“Oh. Well. Fuck.” A beat passed, and then another, until the frustration seemed like a palpable object between them. Jesse sighed. “Are you gonna try to argue with me again if I offer to blow you?”

Hanzo’s shoulders shook with his laugh, which was an improvement on their previous defeated slump. “No.”

Which was how Jesse still ended up on his knees, happily battling his gag reflex to fit as much of Hanzo’s cock down his throat as he could. And even if it wasn’t quite his first choice, he could admit — privately, inside his head where Hanzo could not hear it and take advantage — that everything from the second to somewhere around the thirty-eighth choice were still pretty fantastic options, especially when the rest of the relationship was just right. It didn’t hurt that when he was finished, Hanzo swatted Jesse’s hand away from his own cock and sucked him off too, because at least they had no trouble taking turns with that.

**Author's Note:**

> Arguing over who's gonna top is so 2019, y'all. Everyone's a bottom now.


End file.
